Don't let them divide us

I was sitting at a bar in San Antonio having one of those great spontaneous conversations with a stranger. The guy next to me was a "water guy"—loved boats, lived near Lake Medina, made regular trips to Corpus Christi. We were deep into comparing notes about traveling when he pulled out his phone to show me where his friend's place was.
As we scrolled the map, he noticed the label "Gulf of America" and paused. "By the way, that's the Gulf of Mexico," he said, an edge in his voice.
"Well, it says Gulf of America," I replied. "And technically it makes sense—North America, Central America, South America. It's all the Americas."
He looked at me. "You're a Republican, aren't you?"
"I don't really go for labels like that," I said. "I think differently about different things."
But the damage was done. You could hear the disappointment in his voice. Just moments before, he'd said, "I like talking to you because you're a traveler in a motorhome and I want to be able to do that someday." He'd been teaching me about the Great Loop, a boating route connecting rivers from New York through the Great Lakes down to the Mississippi. We were having a great time.
Then one phrase—"Gulf of America"—and suddenly I was categorized. Labeled. Put in a box. We shook hands and parted ways, but something had been lost.

This Is Exactly What They Want
That moment is a perfect example of how division works at street level. Politicians and leaders throughout history understand a simple truth: divided people are easier to control.
The strategy is ancient and effective: create labels, attach those labels to policies or statements, then train people to have emotional reactions to the labels rather than thinking critically. Once you've sorted people into tribes, you can keep them fighting each other instead of questioning the people doing the sorting.

My bar companion's brain had been trained to hear certain phrases and immediately categorize the speaker. He wasn't a bad person—but his conditioning took over. It's sad to watch genuine enjoyment of a conversation evaporate because of a label.
The term "African-American" separates black Americans into a distinct category. Once separated, it becomes easy to tell them they're different—better or worse, victims or threats. The same happens with every hyphenated identity, every political label, every tribal marker we're encouraged to adopt. Divide and conquer, refined for the modern age.

You Are Limited By Your Associations
This connects to one of my seven principles: You are limited by your associations. The people you surround yourself with shape your thinking and opportunities. But here's the crucial part: you're also limited by people who've bought into division.
If you associate with people who can't see past labels, who've been trained to categorize and dismiss based on tribal markers—you'll waste energy navigating artificial boundaries instead of building genuine relationships.
The guy at the bar knew things I didn't about boating and travel. We had genuine common interests. But his inability to see past political labels limited what that connection could become.

Don't Fall Into the Division Trap
Be smart enough to go with your instincts about people. There will be individuals you like and others you don't, for real reasons—their personality, how they treat you, their integrity, their actions. Let that rule who you associate with, not some label a politician created.
When someone tries to categorize you based on a single statement, recognize it for what it is: conditioning. When you feel the urge to dismiss someone because they sound like "the other side," pause and ask: am I responding to the person in front of me, or to a label?
The most fearless thing you can do in today's divided world is refuse to play the division game. Connect with people as individuals. Judge them by their character and actions, not their tribal affiliations. And distance yourself from people who can't do the same.
The politicians who benefit from division don't care about you. They just need you angry at the "other side" so you don't notice what they're doing.

Don't give them that power.

Choose your associations based on who people actually are, not the labels they've been assigned. And when you encounter someone who can't do the same, recognize that their limitation doesn't have to become yours.

The division trap only works if you fall for it.

The question is: Are you choosing your associations based on who people actually are, or based on the labels someone else taught you to fear?